Canyon Ranch near Tucson has long been regarded as America’s premier spa resort, so I expected its Miami sibling to be similar. I was disabused of this notion on arrival. The property is located on a rather obscure stretch of Collins Avenue. Having been kept waiting for 10 minutes in the noisy lobby, we were finally summoned by a receptionist who proved comically disorganized. Our suite itself was spacious but soulless. We opted for lunch beside the odd oval pool. This was virtually inedible, so we ordered two glasses of white wine, only to be told that the bar was out of stock. Areas near the pool and beach were scruffy and in dire need of a broom. At breakfast, we waited an eternity for poached eggs, only for the waiter to spill coffee all over them. At times, the service was so bad that laughter seemed more appropriate than indignation. True, the resort has impressive spa facilities, but I strongly recommend that you pursue your quest for physical refinement elsewhere.